April Showers....

Bring tears, lots of tears.

It has been a very long month.

2 week rape trail.

Stress

3 victim testifying about the most horrific night of their lives.

I listened.

I cried.

Guilty

I cried.

Being told that I am moving to the Special Victims Unit at work.

I cried.

Being told I have to give up my work as a CASA.

I cried.

I bought a adorable puppy to heal my broke life.

I cried.

I sold the puppy because I just can't imagine that poor sweet face crying in a kennel because I am at work.

I cried.

I hope May brings flowers of joy.

What was I thinking....

A dog...REALLY!!!

I've researched and looked at every kind.

I settled on a Bichon

Non-shedding, hypo-allergenic

But a puppy!

What was I thinking.

I cry all the time because 50% of the time I want to give her back.

I feel like everyone around me has kids and I feel out of place because I'm not responsible for someone or something.

I wanted to fill this lonely house with a companion.

But now I cry, because I have to think about her.

The dog, Izzy (Isabelle Marie)

I grew up with dogs, but they have NEVER been my SOLE responsibility.

It's hard not having my mom and dad help me out.

I cry.

I feel I need to figure this out to make me feel human, to have feelings about something or someone besides myself.

I brought her into my life to feel more whole.

I currently feel helpless.