Emily graduates pre-school!!!!

It's official Emily is done with pre-school and is moving on to kindergarten. The graduation was held at Herrimann City Hall. The kids sang songs and they were so cute. My little M is growing up...make it stop. M was so cute, but all she really cared about was the cake!

Oh..and I can't leave out my little man and his train!

Elections

The past two elections I have been fortunate enough to help out with the elections. After the polls close the poll workers drop off all the ballots and all the other good poll stuff to people like me. Kind of scary if you think about it. You voters are putting the responsibility on me to make sure everything gets to the election offices. Even more scary is that my brother helps too!! Here are some pictures of what goes on while waiting for the poll workers to come. And yes we really wear the bright orange vest, believe me some of the poll workers still can't see us!!!!

Am I heartless??

So the past two weeks have been crazy at work. I am what you might consider a "new" paralegal. I have been working as a titled paralegal for less than two years, and this week I was tested. My first homicide case went to trial this week starting with jury selection on Monday. I have discovered that the week prior to the trial is very crazy for my attorneys. When my attorneys are stressed, so am I. I felt like I had done everything I could do for them, I gave them everything they needed to prepare for a week long homicide trial. I must admit when they walk over to court this week I was nervous they would not have something they needed because some how I overlooked it. It is stressful to think that some one has lost a loved one and it is the prosecutions responsibility to give that family and society some sense of justice. I was only at court twice during the trial, once for opening statements, and once for closing arguments. As my attorneys and I walked out of court with the case in the juries hands, I felt I did everything I could have done. Approximately 4 hours later, and some tense last minute concerns, the verdict was in...guilty on 1st degree murder. I took a deep breath and thought...yes!! As I and one of my attorneys scurried out of the courtroom to avoid the media, we walked outside and he said to me..."that was bitter sweet." Bitter sweet? What the hell are you talking about? We just convicted the person of murder...it is justice, right? Am I heartless...should I have some sort of sympathy for this person who was just convicted? The air suddenly left me, and the walk back to the office was quiet.

I am still thinking about this today. I just don't think I have any sympathy for the person who was found guilty of murder. I think the justice system worked, and a jury of his peers found him guilty. But it does make me ask myself, should I feel sympathy? I realize this situation has caused the death of one person and has taken another out of society...I guess two lives lost.

Happy Father's Day

My Father's day weekend was spent with dear ol'dad up at bear lake. I snapped this pictures as the family took a walk out to the cold water. It was a great weekend, the sun was out, and I got to spend it with my dad.

This day makes me reflect on how important and influential my dad is on my life. I think I am blessed to have one of the most supportive and loving fathers. My dad has always made me feel like I can do anything, and be anyone I want to be. My dad truly believes in me. He has taught me the value of a dollar, and he has showed me how hard work can pay off. My dad can always make anyone laugh, including me!

Thanks for being the dad I was meant to have.

I love you

Tim Russert 1950-2008

I am a news junkie and what I enjoyed more than anything is Meet the Press with Tim Russert. I enjoyed listening to him go at the Republicans as hard as the Democrats. He was a fair and amazing journalist. If you get a chance watch Tom Brokaw's remembrance of Tim Russert.

I wouldn't call myself a Redneck...

I just might fit the classification of a redneck. I was sitting home alone today watching NASCAR, when my favorite driver, Dale Jr., won. I screamed so loud I think the neighbors heard. I was so happy that I think my eyes filled with tears. I have been a secret fan of NASCAR for many years. I have always wanted to go to a race but can't find anyone to go with me (they are very expensive). I almost went by myself to the Las Vegas race this year, but decided against it. I know I don't typically fit the NASCAR fan profile. You know...female, missing several teeth, white t-shirt with stains, common-law husband with mullet and beer gut. I am a smart, educated woman that wants a date with Dale Jr.

Watching NASCAR is not the only thing that qualifies me as a redneck. I love to go to small town demolition derbys. I laugh my ass off as one car rams into another. I love to watch bull riding on the Vs channel. I can even admit that I went to the PBR (Pro Bull Riding, not the beer, although that would qualify as redneck too) event at the E Center a couple years ago. I have season tickets to the Utah Blaze (indoor football). I also sleep in a trailer some weekends (although it sits at the edge of Bear Lake). I listen to country music (Yes, I think your tractor is sexy). When you look at the totality of all these factors I guess I am a redneck, but I don't think that most rednecks would use the work totality, so that makes me a well edu-ma-cated redneck!

What if...

I was talking with a friend this weekend and it got me thinking about where my life would be if things turned out they way I thought they would. My life has had many unexpected turns, but some dramatic ones that stick out in my mind.

When I was 17 and 18 my life was headed down a direction I knew was not for me. I was working at PetsMart with no real future, hanging out with all the wrong people. I left there and decided to turn my life around. I entered Salt Lake Community College and started to study criminal justice. I started working at a call center, and met the man of my dreams (so I thought). I was 19 years old and things started to come together for me. I continued with school and when I was 21 I moved in with my boyfriend. So many promises were made and I thought I would be married by 22. I was planning on transferring up to the U and starting my pre-law degree. I've wanted to go to law school as long as I can remember, and my boyfriend was 100% supportive. We were going to get married and he would work so I could get through law school. All that changed when he decided to go his own way. I moved back in with my parents, and started my life over. I can honestly say that I felt completely devastated by that break-up, I am not sure I have ever truly healed from that relationship, and I can say I have never been in love since, and I have not felt inspired since. I may have never felt inspired again, but I was determined. I eventually graduated with my Associates Degree in criminal justice and transferred up to the U. I graduated in 2002 with a Bachelors in Sociology. I took my LSAT that summer, determined to enter law school. I didn't do as well as I would have liked, and needless to say I never went to law school. I went with plan B... I bought a house, returned to school to get my paralegal degree, and settled into single life. I must say this is far from what I pictured my life to be 8 years ago.

I am grateful for my job as a paralegal, I love going to work most days. I'm grateful for my house because I realize its an accomplishment in its own right. I appreciate my single life when I hear others complain about their married lives. Things may have not turned out the way I thought, but I'm doing alright!

It's been 1 year!!

So it has been exactly 1 year since my surgery. I went to the doctor this morning to have my final weigh-in. I have lost 81 lbs!!! I just can't believe it, and neither could the nurse who weighed me in today. I just can't picture myself 81 lbs heavier than I am now. I still look in the mirror and see a fat girl. I know my weight loss is significant, but I still have so much work ahead of me. I guess I never realized how big I actual was, I thought I was hot then, and I wonder why I couldn't get a date! I have lost about 20 more pounds than the doctor anticipated in the first year. I have put my whole life into this weight loss thing. It is all I think about, what to eat, how much to eat, when should I workout, how much should I workout. It has not been easy, and there has been many days I would rather sit on the couch and do nothing. I still want to loose at least 40 more pounds, and to be at my dream weight, 70 more pounds. I am 30 years old, and I never want to be morbidly obese again. I want to be a healthy person, but on the selfish side, I want some guy to notice me, and I want some girl to be jealous of me. I know, I know...but a girl can dream!

Everybody was Kung Fu fighting....

So I took Emily and Zach to see Kung Fu Panda today. The kids loved it, and I enjoyed it as well. Jack Black was perfect as the voice of the Panda. The movie had a great message about believing in yourself. There is no "special" ingredient, life is what you put into it. I think Zach is too young to pick-up on the message, but I think Emily understood. I love my quality time with the kids, they are a bright spot in my life.

Doesn't prince charming know I'm sitting on the couch?

My weekend was once again uneventful. I am off work on Fridays, so I have a 3 day weekend every week. There are some weekends where I have something planned every day, but there are far too many weekends I sit at home alone. I am okay being a single woman about 80% of the time, but the other 20% can be lonely. I am not a person that needs to be doing something all the time, but when I want to do something and I have no one to do it with, it's frustrating. I had to work for a little on Friday and then I spent all day on Saturday at training. I just wanted to go out and do something Saturday, but all my plans fell through.

You spend most of your life time building friendships that will last. I have many close friends and have only gained more now that all but one have husbands. In high school and college I valued my guy friends as much as my girl friends, but when the guys got married I never talked to them again. Odd, I wonder why? Although I still maintain my close friendships, it is different now that they are married with kids. I am always the 3rd wheel, and bless my friends hearts they continue to invite me out with them. I enjoying hanging out with them, but there are sometimes it would be nice to have someone there for me, besides their children. On the slight chance my friends can ditch the husband, they still bring the kids. I love all my friends kids and I am blessed to have all of them in my life.

Doesn't prince charming know I am sitting on the couch and he can knock on my door anytime. I would like to join the rest of my friends and find a significant other, or at least some new guy friends that wouldn't mind hanging out with my friends. I don't know to many guys right now that I would trust with my close friends or their children. Although I am not sure I want a husband, remember I enjoy my alone time. I wish I could be a serial dater, but for some reason it is not in my personality. I am a rather boring person, I don't live the party lifestyle, I don't generally hang out at bars or clubs, and I am a bit of a homebody. I enjoy the "normal" things in life like, movies, concerts, and sporting events. I do get a chance to do a lot of those things , but I have found they are not good places to meet guys. I notice most of them already have dates, and it might be weird to ask them on a date! Thus, the problem of meeting prince charming.

The search continues...or I might throw in the towel and start collecting cats! What ever works!!

They grow up so fast!

I was going through some old pictures and found these two gems of my precious niece and nephew. Although Emily and Zach are my best friends kids, I am Aunt Krystal to them. I love them as my own and I am so blessed to have their bright personalities in my life.

Zach is never this peaceful anymore. He is all boy and will be 3 in July. I love to talk to him on the phone and try to understand his "zach-a-nese" language.

Emily was the first and I still refer to her as "baby". She was just learning how to walk in this picture and this fall she will enter kindergarten. She is my little princess and she knows it. She never lets me forget anything, like going to see Kung Fu Panda next Friday. She is normal my date to most things. She is growing up so fast and has a mind of her own. I was at her 5th birthday in March and she told me, "guess what aunt Krystal, I only have 3 more years til I can get baptized." I can't even image her in kindergarten let only getting baptized.

I love my little munchkins so much and I am glad that I get to be part of their lives. I love to experience all the new things in their lives, but I would like to keep them young for as long as I can.