So the past two weeks have been crazy at work. I am what you might consider a "new" paralegal. I have been working as a titled paralegal for less than two years, and this week I was tested. My first homicide case went to trial this week starting with jury selection on Monday. I have discovered that the week prior to the trial is very crazy for my attorneys. When my attorneys are stressed, so am I. I felt like I had done everything I could do for them, I gave them everything they needed to prepare for a week long homicide trial. I must admit when they walk over to court this week I was nervous they would not have something they needed because some how I overlooked it. It is stressful to think that some one has lost a loved one and it is the prosecutions responsibility to give that family and society some sense of justice. I was only at court twice during the trial, once for opening statements, and once for closing arguments. As my attorneys and I walked out of court with the case in the juries hands, I felt I did everything I could have done. Approximately 4 hours later, and some tense last minute concerns, the verdict was in...guilty on 1st degree murder. I took a deep breath and thought...yes!! As I and one of my attorneys scurried out of the courtroom to avoid the media, we walked outside and he said to me..."that was bitter sweet." Bitter sweet? What the hell are you talking about? We just convicted the person of murder...it is justice, right? Am I heartless...should I have some sort of sympathy for this person who was just convicted? The air suddenly left me, and the walk back to the office was quiet.
I am still thinking about this today. I just don't think I have any sympathy for the person who was found guilty of murder. I think the justice system worked, and a jury of his peers found him guilty. But it does make me ask myself, should I feel sympathy? I realize this situation has caused the death of one person and has taken another out of society...I guess two lives lost.
2 comments:
You are not heartless. You just do what you need to do to get your job done to the best of you abilities. I struggle with this same thing (sort of) at work. Where are kids better off? With parents that abuse them or a family they don't know. These decisions SUCK!! I'm glad you made it through your first big trial. I hope the rest go as well & that you never think that you are heartless because you are not.
Maybe I'm heartless too then because I think there is much to be said for PERSONAL ACCOUNTABILITY. There is such a lack of it in today's world and it makes me sick/sad.
Why is it wrong for justice to prevail? There are consequences and this is nothing new to anyone. Laws are set up to protect people and what good are they if they don't?
It was a victory and society will now be a safer place. Now there's something to take heart in!
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